Forgetting Your Firstborn

A few weeks ago, my husband and I decided to drop our baby girl off at her Nana’s house and take our firstborn to a movie all by himself. This was our first outing since her birth with just our son, and let me say, this brought up more feelings than my husband and I imagined. The second we sat down we looked at each other, looked at our boy, and smiled together.

This movie date forced me to set aside my ever so chunky newborn and give my son some undivided attention and love. With his deep love for Ava, and hours he spends making her laugh, it hadn’t really crossed my mind that maybe he needed some time all to himself. And he absolutely loved his time at the movie. He asked where his baby sister was, but you could see it all over his face, he was loving this. His body was so at ease and he giggled every chance he got. With every joke the characters cracked he looked to me and to his dad for laughter. He let me hold his hand, he even shared his candy with me, and when we left he said, “That was so great Dada.”

It is so easy to become mesmerized by a new baby. Their soft skin, innocent smell, and brand new angel eyes gazing at you. You spend most of your pregnancy wondering how you’ll share such deep love equally among your two beloved babies. It’s easy to become wrapped up in your newest blessing, but from the simplest night, Captain Underpants in an empty theater, you realize that maybe, just maybe, you haven’t been fair to your oldest.

You see, I owe him so much more than you think. It’s because of him that I know how to be a good momma to Ava. It’s because of him that I continue to dream about more babies and grand-babies to add to my heart. He showed me all of it, he opened the door to what being a mother feels like. There were days as a new mom that I wasn’t quite sure how to nurture him, and days where frustration and exhaustion got the best of me, but he has seen me at my worst and he has loved me through it. My firstborn changed my whole world. He taught me unconditional love and he showed me how to be selfless for the first time in my life. He was my first stretch mark, my first baby bump, my first angel on Earth.

So take the time to shower your firstborn with some love. Whether it’s an entire night dedicated to them or a quick drive-thru trip for an ice cream cone. Remind them what it felt like to be the only baby taking up room in your heart, the only baby stealing your attention. Reminisce together on the days when motherhood was much calmer and quieter with just one sweet baby. Let them feel special, let them be selfish, and let them be spoiled; it’s all because of them.

 

A few pictures of my early days as a young momma to just one sweet baby.

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Featured Image: My firstborn first thing in the morning! My boy looks just like his dad and I love it.

 

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