Grab your snack of choice, I’ve got a really funny story to share. I’m not talking “ha-ha” funny, more like “if you didn’t laugh you might have cried” kind of funny.
So it was Leo’s last day of preschool before the summer break began. I had been holding on to a Sephora gift card my husband had given me as a Valentine’s Day present. I know, it took me three months to find the time to spoil myself. Total fail on my end. With only hours left before the most challenging season for mothers, I decided to venture to the mall with my baby girl for one last moment of me-time. I put Ava girl in her stroller, an unusual break for my back since I’m always using my Ergobaby carrier to keep her upright, and headed straight for Sephora.
Ava girl nodded off seconds into our stroll, so I grabbed my Adorology Car Seat Cover in hopes she would nap for the rest of our shopping trip. I started to browse the various sections of Sephora. This store is completely foreign to me. I know next to nothing about makeup and my skincare regimen is fulfilled by drugstore aisles. I’m sure I looked totally lost, so when the Sephora employee approached me I expected her to simply offer me some guidance.
Instead, she said, “Ma’am, is there something dripping from your bag?” As always, I went straight into panic mode. I quickly recalled every item I knew was in my diaper bag, only to remember that the only liquid in there was water for Ava’s bottles. I replied, “No, I don’t think so. I only have a bottle of water in there.” She then pointed to the floor and referred to a yellow trail that traced my exact path. She asked, “Maybe the baby?” Talk about PANIC. In hopes to disregard the conversation entirely and make an extremely urgent exit from the store, I said, “Nope, she’s sleeping away.” But for some reason, some very stupid reason, I raised the car seat cover rather than heading for the exit. My precious Ava girl stared up at me with an especially pleasant sparkle to her eye and I then saw it, a very large, very odorous yellow puddle of liquefied baby poop. It had puddled so bad that it leaked out of her diaper, through the crevices of her car seat, into the cracks of the stroller, and down to the floor.
“Oh my word, I am so so sorry. I had no idea.” Those were the only words I could get out before I was out of Sephora and in a frantic search for JC Penney’s restroom. I circled the top floor of the department store at least ten times before finding the restroom behind the curtain section. BEHIND THE CURTAIN SECTION. WHO PUTS A RESTROOM THERE?
I handled the situation like every other explosive diaper. I wiped Ava down with my cucumber baby wipes and changed her outfit, thank goodness I remembered a backup onesie that day. I did my best to clean the car seat and laid her blanket down for a (thin) barrier between the mess and her sweet skin. There was zero chance of me heading back to Sephora, I was literally mortified. If you have ever been there then you know the store is always so wonderfully clean and beautifully scented. The products themselves are high-end and the employees are very well kept. My sweet girl had just dripped putrid yellow poop all over their floor. I had forfeited my shopping trip for the day.
And the best part? It was time to head to Leo’s preschool for pickup. Another wasted minute and I would have been late on the last day of school. No time for lunch, no time for Ava to bathe, no time for the car seat to hit a wash cycle. My car wreaked the entire drive there and back. The thought of my girl laying in that mess made me cringe the entire trip. But just like any rough mom moment, we made it through. Leo had a great last day of school, Ava got her bubble bath as soon as we returned home, and this momma got another great story for her blog.
And for those of you who haven’t had babies yet and are thinking, “What kind of cheap diapers is this girl using?” Let me say, I’m two kids and one dozen diaper brands deep. It doesn’t matter how expensive the diaper is; somewhere in the stars of parenting it’s written that you MUST and you WILL experience poop explosions.
Hang in there mommas, you are never alone.
Featured image: My Ava girl a few months back when she was a little less chunky and a lot less active.
WARNING: The images below contain content that may make you extremely nauseous. This is actual evidence of Ava’s diaper blowouts, one being from the story above.